Panic Attack
The man sat in his car; he fought the rising wave of panic. He knew this feeling very well. It had accompanied him through the whole saga. It woke him at night. It gave him hot flushes when everyone else was cold. It ambushed him before he went into a meeting and slowly screwed his stomach as he received bad news. It made him procrastinate, but often, it was the only feeling he had. It was the only thing that reminded him that he was a human with real feelings.
When it passed, he felt weak but he knew he had to do something. He had no money and he needed food, a place to stay and cash for expenses.
Down and Out in a BMW
His only asset was the car. It was a BMW 3 series, 2 years old and covered in dirt from the trip but otherwise in good condition. He remembered he saw a car yard and tractor sales office at the bottom of the street. He would sell the car and buy a cheaper one. The difference would keep him going for months, maybe a year, if he was not extravagant.
He pulled into the yard and the salesman looked up from reading his newspaper in his warm office. He looked surprised; it had been a while since anyone had come into the yard mid-week. He rose half annoyed he had to move at all and half excited in anticipation of making a sale. When he stood in front of the man he clapped his hands in front of his stomach and smiled that car salesman’s smile that says “have I got a deal for you” just before they sell you a wreck.
The man tries to smile back. “Hi, I want to sell you my car and buy a cheaper one and take the difference in cash. Can you do that?” He asked, half hoping, half matter of fact.
“Well, sir, it’s a nice car. I’m rather partial to BMW’s myself too. But I don’t think we could sell that kind of car round here. Not these days. That would be a bit luxurious and” he paused, not sure if what he was about to say would offend the man “it would be a bit useless around the farm don’t you think?”
“Oh”, the man said. “Do you know where I could sell it?”
“Well, you would need to go to a bigger town,” the salesman said.
“How far is that?” the man asked “200 kilometres give or take” the salesman replied, losing interest in the conversation. “I don’t have enough petrol to get that far,” the man said to no one in particular.
The salesman looked at him suspiciously. He looked like a businessman albeit, he was unshaven and his hair was matted but the car was worth a bit, how could he not afford petrol?
The man said “Look, I don’t need to get top dollar for this, just make me a fair offer. I’ll swap it for a small car with a full tank and some cash how about that?”
How Time Stops When You Are Broke
The salesman felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. Something didn’t feel right and he was sure this man was either a con man or a thief or worse. He told him he would have to discuss it with his boss and asked the man to come back in a couple of hours. Maybe he could leave the car here so his boss could inspect it. The man agreed and walked back into town.
The last few days had flown past in a blur that felt like an instant. Now with nowhere to go and no money if he did, two hours seemed like a very long time. It was going to be a long wait.
Exactly two hours later, he headed back to the car yard. His car was still where he left it. He had expected to see it up on the hoist being checked out by a mechanic or maybe driven around town to get a feel for its power.
He stood at the car and could see the salesman talking to someone in his office. When the salesman saw the man he motioned to the other person who stood up and looked through the window at the man. It was the town cop.
He came outside and approached the man with that don’t do anything silly look on his face. When he got to the man he said “I hear you want to sell your car. Can you show me your driver’s license please?” The man took out his wallet under the watchful gaze of the cop who made a mental note that there was no money in the wallet. He looked at the man checking for any sign of nervousness.
The man gave the cop his driver’s license upon which he invited the stranger to accompany him to the police station. “Why?” asked the man.
“Well we just have to conduct a few inquiries” the cop said.
“What if I don’t want to” the man said.
“Well you do have a couple of outstanding parking tickets” replied the cop “would you like to pay them now” he said. “No” said the man, defeated.
“Ah, well I may have to detain you for a while then” said the policeman.
He took the man by the arm, it wasn’t a threatening hold but he held it firmly above the elbow and led him to his police car. “Okay if I leave the BMW here Alan” he called to the salesman who nodded obsequiously fast too many times.
The man was shown into the cell where he had to wait for another agonisingly slow few hours. All he could think of was that he was hungry and that he had never been in a cell before.
He was cold but the hot flushes kept him warm and filled his stomach with fear but at least it kept the hunger pains away.
When the policeman came back he collected the man from the cell and took him to his office.
“I don’t understand” he said. “I checked and you are the boss of a big company. You own the car outright. You paid for that Abo woman’s drugs at the chemist and your card was declined at the supermarket? There’s no warrant out for your arrest but you have accumulated a few parking tickets in the last few months”, he said reading from his notes. He looked up, “which you have not paid. What’s going on?”
The man just looked straight ahead. The policeman could see the red blush rise in his face, the man looked done in but he was not talking.
“Hungry?” asked the policeman. The man nodded, his eyes still fixed on some spot, a place far off that only he could see. The cop got up and left the room. The man felt the tightness across his chest ease when the policeman left.
The policeman returned about 25 minutes later with a meal and a cup of luke warm tea. He set it down on the table and sat back in his chair. The man looked at it then looked at the policeman who nodded indicating it was for him.
He ate in silence. He tried to eat slowly savouring each bite but old habits die hard and he scoffed it down. He was always in a hurry and food was fuel. It was something you had to take on board that interrupted your schedule so you ate as quickly as possible and got on with the important things in life.
But he was not in a hurry any more. He just hadn’t got used to that yet.
Maybe he was in a hurry to be gone from here. He was embarrassed. He had been arrested in public and the people and the shopkeepers had seen him being led to the car and driven through town to the police station.
He looked at the cop. His face was bright red under the stubble; his eyes were blue, bright and worried. He took a deep breath and assembled his thoughts. “ I’m okay.” he said as much to himself as to the cop “I have not robbed any one, well at least not in the eyes of the law. I’ve committed no offense, at least, that I can pay for by going to jail.” He stared into that distant place, saw the chaos and it disturbed him.
“I need to go now” he said to the cop.
It was not an order, there was no anger in it but it was not pleading either. It was a simple statement of fact. The policeman thought about it for a few minutes and then rose. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet and said “Can I lend you a few bucks to keep the wolves away?” The man smiled, a few hours ago this same copper would have been happy to lock him up and throw away the key. He was the quintessential Australian bush copper tough as nails but fair and now he wanted to show that there was no hard feelings.
“Thanks”, he shook his head, “I’m okay”.
The cop put his wallet away quickly, embarrassed. This man could probably buy and sell him many times over so how much could he lend him that would be of value, $10, $20 maybe at a pinch $50 but that would hurt and Karen, his wife, would be angry. She could do a lot with $50. He asked the man if he wanted a lift back to his car. The man politely refused, he preferred to walk. He needed to clear his head.
It was only a short walk back to town; little did he know how much it would affect his life.
In a field of barley the tree stands out but it is lonely. In a forest it is anonymous but it is content.
To Be Continued……..
Read an Analysis of Each Chapter – The Philosophy and Ideas behind the Story:
A Reader’s Review of The Man Chapter 1
An Analysis of The Man Chapter 2
Pre Analysis Background Information for The Man Chapter 3
We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thank you for further one fantastic blog. Where else could i regain this compassionate of info written in such an incite full way? i have been finding for such detail.
it won’t be probably the most thrilling publish ever, nevertheless it is a vital one
Thank you for further one fantastic blog. Where else could i regain this compassionate of info written in such an incite full way? i have been finding for such detail.
Hi, I really like this .it’s really useful to me. If you’re searching for other I may have tried to help in the link of mine .Please examine my link, You’ve may founds some other things you like .Thank You.
You crafted many great points there. I did a research on the topic and found a lot of people will concur with your blog site. I wanted to get your Feed then again it doesn’t work. i will probably keep attempting maybe is actually a local issue.
I agree with most of your points, but some need to be discussed further, I will hold a small conversation with my buddies and perhaps I will ask you some advice later.
– Henry
Excellent article, plenty of good quality info. I am going to point out to my friend and ask them the things they think.
Nice!! Great Ifo. Great People. Great Blog. Thank you for all the great sharing that is being done here.
I found you entry way interesting. I’ve added a Trackback to it on our blog
It made him procrastinate but often, it was the only feeling he had. It was the only thing that reminded him that he was a human with real feelings.
IDo you have a rss or something like this? I want to add you to my rss reader, becous liked this article especially your way how to explain this.
Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.
Great job on the site, it looks wonderful. I am going to bookmark it and will make sure to check often
I found this site under my bookmarks, probably bookmarked it my wife. Do you have a rss or something like this? I want to add you to my rss reader, becous liked this article especially your way how to explain this.
Wow,so niceeee!! Thanks for sharing!
I truly loved this brilliant article. Please continue this awesome work. Regards, Duyq.
Nombre de shadowintheflame.com a GoogleReader!
Which translated says:
Name of shadowintheflame.com to GoogleReader!
All right, It is very good
I have been searching via the internet trying to get ideas on how to get my personal website coded, your overall design and style together with writing style are wonderful. Did you code it your self or did you employ a coder to get it done to suit your needs?
Editor:
I was very lucky, I had a web master, Diane, who put the web site up. I believe she found the template somewhere but I have no idea where.
Cheers,
Ric
Greetings, I enjoy your blog. This is a great site and I wanted to post a comment to let you know, great job!
Thanks,
Meme
Thanks for the article.Much thanks again. Much obliged.
Hello This is a great blog keep your good work and thank you for sharing with me So nice to hear from you.Thanks!
Appreciate you sharing, great blog post.Much thanks again. Keep writing.
Im not heading to say what all people else has already stated, but I do wish to comment on your expertise of the topic. Youre absolutely well-informed. I cant think how much of this I just wasnt conscious of. Thank you for bringing far more facts to this theme for me. Im truly grateful and truly impressed.
Hehe, the blog took quite a lot of time to load but it was good and was worth my time.
This website has definitely changed my point of view on this subject. Theres no way I wouldve imagined regarding it using this method if I hadnt arrive at your website. All I was doing was cruising the net and I found your webpage and all of a sudden my views have altered. Very good on you, man!
All I can say is preserve it up. This blog is so needed in the time when anyone just really wants to speak about how a lot of individuals someones cheated on their wife with. I imply, thanks for bringing intelligence back to the net, its been sorely missed. Excellent things. Please retain it coming!
Do you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks! 🙂
Editor:
Thanks for the complement. No, I find I can make a bigger fool of me than anyone else I know. :-).
Hello admin, If I can use some of the material from this post, I’ll provide a link back to your blog.
Editor:
Go ahead, be my guest. I’m glad you like it.
Ric
some people wouldn’t see it even if it face them
Why didnt I think of this? I hear precisely what youre declaring and Im so delighted that I came across your blog. You genuinely know what you’re referring to, and also you made me really feel like I ought to find out much more about this. Many thanks for this; Im officially a massive fan of your webpage.
Editor:
Thanks mate. I officially appoint you as Fan number 00001 Congratulations!
Ric
Your expert
You are amazing! This blog is indeed good. I truly wish a lot more people visit this and get what you’re saying, mainly because let me tell you, it’s significant stuff. I certainly would not have thought of using this method unless Id seen your web page. Many thanks for posting it up. I wish you have excellent achievement.
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
All I can say is maintain it up. This blog is really important in the time when everyone just wants to talk about how many men and women someones cheated on their wife with. I imply, thank you for bringing intelligence back towards internet, its been sorely missed. Great stuff. Please keep it coming!
I’ve never heard of this before. I’ll definately need to check this out.
very nice article in this hopefully i learned from it.
Hello, I have browsed most of your posts. This post is where I got the most useful information for my information gathering. Thanks for posting, maybe we can see more on this. I also like this layout can you tell me where to get it?
Editor:
Thanks, I hope you like the rest of the story as well. I’m afraid I have no idea where my web master got this design from but I agree with you I like it very much. You can read more about this in my answers to other comments on this blog.
Ric
There are so many variations of this you could do, with movies, with certain viral videos, and a lot of other shit. My outline is for the most basic lazy way to do this and any creativity or improvements will only help you.
Editor:
Thank you, I don’t think you are lazy at all. Your imagination is working over time. 🙂
I’m not heading to say what everybody else has previously mentioned, but I do desire to comment on your information with the topic. Your absolutely well-informed. I cant think how a lot of this I just wasn’t mindful of. Thank you for bringing additional info to this theme for me. I’m genuinely grateful and really impressed.
Editor:
Thank you my friend. I find this story gives me an outlet to review and try to understand the experiences I have had in my life. I hope it will be of some benefit to others as well.
Ric
Thank you very much. Sunny article.
Nice to be here, thanks for giving out the piece of writing. Most definitely i’ll sign up to this blog and also check back every now and then.
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it
This post is very wondefull, I will get back to read every new posts in future, keep posting! And wish you go to my website to know how do you play poker !
Editor’s Note:
Thanks Bob. I would like to take this opportunity to talk about our comment policy (you will see why I chose to do it here in a moment).
We normally delete links to other web sites that are included in the body of the comment because we allow comments to link to web sites already and we pass on page rank.
My view is that the comment part of this forum should be used to discuss the topic not to be a supermarket for other products. Our goal is to ensure that it remains interesting for our readers who come here to discuss ideas and have some thinking time.
There is far too much spam on the net and this is our small contribution to keeping it out of our life. We declare Shadow in the Flame a spam free zone.
I am finding that more and more people are using the comment forum for just that purpose and the amount of spam we get has dramatically dropped. So I think our policy is working even though I have never stated it publicly before.
I added this comment to yours not to embarrass you in any way, I think your site is okay. I did it because my dad was a very good and very keen poker player. He was also a great conversationalist and story teller and I think he would have enjoyed this place. He was also a man that kept to his principles even when it cost him dearly. So in honour of him and because I know he loved poker this seemed like the right place to tell people about our comment policy. I hope you don’t take it personally, I wouldn’t have left your link in the comment if it was to a porn site or some other rubbish.
I just wanted an chance to tell people about our comment policy and you gave it to me. Thanks. I will pop over and see if I can learn how to play poker better and maybe, just maybe, I will win back some of the money I lost to my dad.
Cheers,
I’d like to say that you always provide clear information and I have been an avid reader of your site for quite some time. Just wanted to say thank you really 🙂 for all the good work you do!
Editor:
Thanks, I really appreciate your comment.
Ric
Great post full of useful tips! My site is fairly new and I am also having a hard time getting my readers to leave comments. Analytics shows they are coming to the site but I have a feeling “nobody wants to be first”.
Editor’s Note:
Hello Maxim, You could be right about that, I have a number of blogs that struggle to get a single comment a month but Shadow in the Flame pretty much took off on its own, so I’m afraid I am no expert on why people comment on one blog and not the other. I would be very interested to hear from our readers what they think the reason is.
I had a look at your web site and I think I know why you don’t get any comments. It says you have to be logged in to leave a reply but when you click on the “log in” link it takes you to the back end to log in as an administrator? I think you need to set up the comment module properly.
BTW, I like your writing style, well done.
Ric
I wish more people would write blogs like this that are really fun to read. With all the fluff floating around on the internet, it is rare to read a blog like yours instead.
Editor:
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comment. I never knew how important comments were until I started to blog myself. I feel ashamed that I visited so many blogs in the past and never left a comment. Now I realise they are the motivation a blogger needs to keep going and the only reward they seek.
Thank you and to all our readers who leave a comment, positive or negative, be assured every comment you leave is very much appreciated.
With Kind Regards and My Best Wishes to you all.
Ric
Thank you Christine, I’m glad you enjoyed it. What a pity the chapters after chapter 3 are lost. But I am seriously considering picking it up again and completing it. Ha ha I’m curious to see where it goes.
Cheers,
Ric